I've realized that I've been really legalistic lately. I've been judging myself according to what's wrong and what's right, what I should and shouldn't do. All in all, that's not particularly a bad thing. Its when it goes to far and I'm doing it just for the sake of the law that it becomes a problem.
When you're legalistic, you're picking on every little thing that you do wrong, and essentially disrespecting yourself. It would be the same as if you nitpicked everyone else's actions- they would feel offended and disrespected.
I feel like most of what I've been doing has been discrediting God. When I beat myself up for my mistakes, I don't forgive myself and I don't believe that He has forgiven me. And that shows a lack of trust in Him. A lack of faith in His ability to forgive. I am so foolish...
What I should be doing is looking to Him with joy and praise and realizing that He is able to forgive me and to save me no matter what sins I commit. Instead of moping around and effectively complaining about what a miserable sinner I am, I should give thanks for a Savior who takes care of all of that for me, so that I need not worry or fear. It's all taken care of with His blood. And I can look to the joy of Him to get me through life and to save me from letting my sin hold me down.
Of course I'll still sin. It's impossible not to. But I have the motivation to try and please God because of what He's done for me. And I should do that joyously and not fret when I mess up over and over again.
What a wonderful comfort it is to know that we have someone who cares about us so much that He would send his only begotten Son to die for us, so that we won't be held accountable for our sin in the end.
He really does love us so much, more than we will ever know!
:)
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