Father's grace.

"Today, if you hear his voice,do not harden your hearts."

That's part of verse 7, Hebrews ch. 4. I'm so grateful for God's mercy, as he destroyed my world nearly four years ago. That's sounds a little odd, doesn't it? It was the only way for Him to reach me. In order to start a new work, the old person had to disappear. Everything I loved, everything I wanted, everything I desired; everything came crashing down. What I loved, wanted, and desired all changed as God began His glorious work. That is to say, God's grace is marvelous, a changed soul is marvelous; I am not marvelous. For so many years, I hardened my heart and I was numb to the God's message. I was unwilling to compromise my lifestyle with His commandments.

Later on, I would come to realize that faith isn't merely a lifestyle change, it's a change in worship. Whereas I once worshiped my self, I began to worship God. God saved this time for me, He saw it right and fit to wait until college to turn my world around. Thankfully, it didn't start there. All along, as far as I can tell, God had been giving me little hints as to His character and His will. I'm thankful for the family I was raised in; they encouraged me to attend church throughout my youth. I'm thankful for the pastors at my church who took time to teach me the Gospel. I'm thankful for the Christian friends that I had. They were unashamed of the Gospel, and didn't hesitate to witness to me.

I needed to be turned around; as a freshman I began to experiment and flirt with immorality. I was compromising all of the teaching that i had ever received! The incredible sense of guilt that followed was no surprise. That is, I broke down on the night of my conversion. My life was a wreck, and I pleaded to God for help. The realization had come, I couldn't live like this. I praise God for turning around my hardened heart that night, and continually into the present (and likely the future). His grace is so great, that He would bother with a terrible sinner like myself.